Our beloved mother

Friday 16/08/19 7:52pm, my mom passed away from septic shock secondary to severe pneumonia.


She was alone with no family members when she passed away as no family members was allowed to accompany patient when doing dialysis. She was doing her dialysis for 40 minutes when her heart stopped. They did 30 minutes cpr but she didn't make it.
Around 8pm hospital called us asked us to come. We hurried, when we arrived they told she has left our side.


She was admitted on 06/08/19 as she was having difficulty to breath normally. She breath with the help of oxygen tube inserted directly through her mouth for 6 days. They removed the tube, they put on oxygen mask on her. Morning 16/08/19 while doing dialysis for an hour , her BP drop they stopped the dialysis and they inserted again the tube.
Evening she went again for dialisis. 40 minutes of dialysis her heart BP drop, her heart stopped. They did cpr for 30 minutes but she failed to fight as she was suffering more than we could imagine. It was a sudden death, none of us expected that she will leave us just like that. Dr Ivan said for 10 days of stay, she didn't show any sign of recovery, not responding to drugs they admitted. She was weak.
Only me and kak chik saw her breathing for the last time, as we sent her for dialysis.

She had suffered enough, it was hard for her. Al fatihah emak, Mariani Ishak emakku sayang. 08/02/1963 ~ 16/08/2019

DEATH

I no longer find joy in living.
Sick of the livings.
Suffocated, I want to end the pain.

Maafkan Aku

Aku ada seorang kawan dari sekolah menengah.
Aku pernah rapat dengan dia.
Masuk politeknik aku masih rapat dengan dia.
Aku susah dia tolong.
Masalah dia, aku dengar.
Aku jarang bercerita tentang masalah aku.
Aku tak pasti bagaimana dan bila hubungan kami mula renggang.
Tapi semuanya bermula dengan aku.
Seingat aku, aku mula jauhkan diri semua orang termasuk dia.
Tiada sebab, tiada alasan.
Aku cuma ingin bersendirian.
Lama aku diamkan diri.
Ramadhan yang lepas tiba-tiba aku teringatkan dia.
Aku telefon.
Tapi malangnya panggilan aku disambut dingin.
Panggilan aku seperti tak disenangi.
Aku putuskan talian.
Sebab hati aku sedih, aku tidak mahu hubungan aku dengannya lebih dingin.
Aku fikir barangkali suara aku akan menyakitkan hati dia jadi aku putuskan talian.
Aku kirim pesanan ringkas pada dia.
Aku mohon maaf jika aku menyakiti dia dan aku masih berharap kami masih berkawan.
Tiada balasan.
Dia sudah benci aku.
Dia sudah tidak mahu berkawan.
Aku diam.
Aku tidak tahu apa yang perlu aku lakukan.
Aku menangis sedih.
Memang salah aku tapi aku tidak diberikan kesempatan untuk meminta maaf.
Sekadar titipan maaf melalui pesanan ringkas tidak mencukupi.
Ya aku tahu tapi aku tidak mempunyai kekuatan untuk menghubungi dia lagi.
Kedinginan yang dia lantarkan pada aku menakutkan aku.
Ramadhan datang lagi.
Aku teringatkan dia lagi.
Haruskah aku mendekati dia lagi ?
Beranikah aku ?

Him

They wanted to comfort him
They don't want him to commit the same path as you do
But they kept on mentioning his past
The past that I assured is painful for him to face
The past that I believed he want to forget, to overcome
They said what happened was not his fault,
not to blame himself.
Why did they do that ?
It's wrong!
Stop!
It's not the right way to make him feel relieve
Why do they think it's okay to bring up the past ?
Why emphasizing that it's not his fault ?
What if he never think that way but when reading the self claimed comfort that they send,
it could've gone wrong ?
They shouldn't have do that

6.

Udara

Aku inginkan nafas ku berderu laju

Dadaku turun naik

Tetapi aku seperti tidak bernyawa

Aku hilang arah

Aku sejuk seperti tidak berdarah

Kau pergi jauh mencari kebahagianmu

Kebahagian yang kau rasa kau tidak miliki di dunia ini

Permergianmu merupakan satu titik perubahan bagiku

Bukan berubah lebih baik

Aku makin lemah

Kau pergi kerana hatimu disakiti

Kehilangan kau lebih menyakitkan

Hidup kau menyerikan aku

Tawa kau memberi sinar

Hilang kau menghancurkan aku

Ketiadaan kau menyesakkan aku

Kau kecewa ?

Aku lebih derita

Apa erti semua ini ?

Aku tidak mengerti

Mengapa suratan kita begini ?

Aku menangis saban hari

Mengenangkan kau tiap waktu

Tak pernah sedetik aku melupakan

Ya aku tidak boleh menerima kenyataan

Ya aku buta hati

Aku sedih

Pedih jiwa ini tak siapa peduli

Seperti kau

Aku juga tidak bahagia

Saat kau pergi

Bermula lah detik suram hidupku

Kau pergi membawa senyumanku pergi


-171222-

18.12.2017 - the day you left my side

Ever since you left I’m in a loop.

I live my life the usual as I do before, I tried to but I’m in a loop.
I cried, I smiled then I cried again, smiled again.
I woke up in the morning without any thought,
I go to work as usual,
I stared at the blank wall,
I saw your face then only I realized you’re gone.
I cried. I feel so empty. I resumed my work.

Back at home I cheered myself watching movies, varieties and it’s time for bed.
I tuck in myself then the memories flashed,
I realized again that you’re not here anymore,
you’re not in the same world as I am.

I cried again. I bawled at the thought my pain will never be the same as yours.
You’ve suffered more but how can I assumed that the pain I felt now is the same as yours.
No!
Showered with tears, I can’t keep myself in peace.
Shattered. Broken.
It’s too painful that I can’t even expressed it to anyone.

You are my friend.
You gave me laughter, happiness, you keep me calm when I had a rough day.

It’s been 4 days since you left, I still can’t let you go. I’m in denial.
I don’t want to let you go. I never will.

No I won’t. I don’t want to.
I don’t want to believe that you’re not breathing anymore, you’re alive.
Yes you are! Please say that you are alive.

Can you please wake up? You are my friend, my family how can I let you go? How?

.

Tak semua sukakan kita.
Yang bencikan kita pun ramai.
Yang sayang entah ada entah tidak.
Kita tu aku lah. Aku yang rasa tak dihargai.
Aku tak cakap aku ni layak disayangi, tapi takkan lah tak ada secebis rasa kesian pun ?
Hina sangat ke aku ni ?
Tak bertanya apa masalah aku, kau terus hukum aku.
Ada ke manusia yang sempurna ?
Aku salah ? Beritahu aku.
Aku minta maaf, kenapa taknak maafkan ?
Kenapa buang aku ?
Pernah tak sekali kau tanya apa masalah aku, kenapa kau buat macam tu ?
Tak pernah.
Aku letih.
Aku penat nak fikir perasaan orang sedangkan tak ada siapa pun yang jaga perasaan aku.
Buat aku macam sampah. Macam tin kosong, sepak aku sana sini.
Cukup lah.
Takkan nak tunggu aku mati baru nak tanya kenapa ?

5.

Dazzling little star shine above the love scar that he left me behind.
"Thank you for the effort",the star spoke.
I asked what did I do ?
The star replied, "For not going back to him just to hurt yourself again".
I cried.
"Embrace me and go find the dream of your life",
the last remark from the little star and so I did.

-170309-

4.

Ya Allah,
Mataku celik dan saat terpejamnya mataku,
Aku tahu itu semua kerana inginMu begitu.
Setiap hela nafas, anggota tubuhku,
Itu semua hak milikMu.
Rezeki yang aku nikmati, kebahagiaan yang aku kecapi,
Itu semua pinjamanMu.


Ya Allah,
Terus-terang aku berdosa,
Adakala mata salah memandang,
Mulut kerap berdusta,
Telinga mendengar yang tidak sepatutnya,
Hati tersalah menafsir,
Tingkah lakuku memang banyak cacat celanya.


Ya Allah,
Walau telah banyak khilaf yang aku lakukan,
Walau telah banyak dosaku yang MalaikatMu catitkan,
Namun aku masih bernyawa,
Masih diberi kesempatan olehMu Ya Allah,
Untukku berubah.


Ya Allah,
Izinkan aku bertaubat sujud padaMu,
Izinkan aku mengucap kata maaf padaMu,
Izinkan aku menabur bakti pada saudaraku,
Izinkan aku berbuat kebaikan,
Izinkan aku supaya terus mendapat redhaMu,
Izinkan aku terus bernafas Ya Allah,
Supaya aku sentiasa berada di jalan yang benar,
Jalan yang Rasulullahku pilih,
Jalan yang bisa menuntuku ke SyurgaMu,
Ya Allah.
Aamiin.


-131122-

3.

Termenung,
Aku tatap langit berawan,
Kepulan awan membentuk figura,
Aku lakarkan imaginasiku,
Imaginasiku menari dihadapanku,
Impianku juga aku yang lakarkan,
Aku yang hidupkan imaginasiku,
Aku yang ditanggungjawabkan oleh diriku,
Untuk menjaga imaginasiku, impianku.

-160322-

2.

Rotten hearts
That's what I'm afraid of
When she said "I got your back"
I should keep a lil suspicions with me
Lying on the floor
She stabbed on my back
When I gave her my front
MY HEART

-160322-

1.

Malam
Bila aku dongak langit
Langit kosong
Bintang tidak bersinar
Lalu dimana sahihnya kata bintang akan sentiasa menemani aku
Oh aku lupa
Itu kata semasa si pemuja bunga masih ada disampingku.

-160322-

Lindungilah hati dari berbuat kejahatan.

Tangan yang menghulur itu lebih elok dari tangan yang menerima. Bukan bermaksud tangan yang menerima itu salah, orang kata rezeki jangan ditolak kan. Berbuat kebaikan sesama manusia malah digalakkan dalam Islam. Bukan cuma Islam, tapi agama lain juga mengajar benda yang sama kan ? Berbuat kebaikan boleh jadi dari pelbagai aspek. Tolong angkat barang kawan yang jatuh pun dah dikira berbuat baik. Itu lebih bagus dari menonong jalan buat tak nampak kan ? Beri bantuan kewangan kepada yang memerlukan, beri sokongan pada yang lemah dll. Saat memberi hak kita kepada yang memerlukan, keikhlasan hati itu amat penting. Memberi tetapi hati tak merelakan. Apalah erti pemberian yang tiada makna. Kesannya tidak berbekas di hati. Memberi tanpa ada sekelumit rasa penyesalan. Kalau pernah terdetik 'ahh aku tak patut bagi yg tu, aku patut bagi yg ni', maka berbalik pada nilai keikhlasan yang terletak dalam diri kita. Bila hati tidak ikhlas maka wujud lah rasa penyesalan. Hmm jangan tak tahu ada juga manusia yg jenis macam ni. Masuk duit kat tabung masjid RM20, lepas tu rasa menyesal. "Ahh sepatutnya aku letak RM10 je skrg tgok aku dah takada duit makan." Atau bila bantu org yg kemalangan kemudian kena jadi saksi. "Ahh patut aku tak tlg tadi skrg dah kena jadi saksi pula bazir masa je." Tsk tsk tsk kalau berbuat kebaikan kenapa perlu disesali ? Memperoleh tanpa berlaku kejam. Jangan menidakkan hak yang sepatutnya. Itu juga satu kebaikan yg selalu org tak nampak. Menipu dalam timbangan salah satu perbuatan yg org tak nampak tapi si pelaku meraih keuntungan yg dia fikir tak apa "alaaa sikit je, bukan org perasan pun." Andai si pembeli ialah si miskin yg nak membeli beras pun pakai timbangan, menggunakan hasil kerja keras siang malam, tidakkah kejam ? Beras yg sepatutnya tahan seminggu tapi dek kerana peniaga yg menipu dlm timbangan maka beras yg dibeli cuma tahan 3hari. Ramai yg tak perasan, cuma menganggap remeh perkara2 macamni. Kita hidup dalam kalangan masyarakat yg berbilang bangsa dan agama. Kebaikan yg dilakukan bukan berdasar warna kulit, bukan atas nama agama yg dianuti. Selagi hati ikhlas, bantulah selagi boleh.

Kasih Pinjaman

Orang dahulu bilang “ku sangkakan panas hingga ke petang, rupanya hujan di tengahari”.

Namun begitu siapalah aku untuk menidakkan kuasa Tuhan.

Tuhan yang menakluk sekelian alam, pencipta kehidupan.

Malah hidup aku yang kecil ini kesemuanya sudah ditentukan.

Jika Tuhanku berkehendakkan begitu maka jadi lah ia.

Adapun aku menginginkan bahagia, namun mampukah aku terus tersenyum mengecap kesenangan dunia ?.

Jika senang pasti ada susahnya.

Kalau bahagia pasti terselit sedikit kedukaan yang dilindung dari tubir mata.

Aku menyangka kehidupanku sentiasa cerah, namun aku bongkak aku lupa Allah pasti mendugaku.

Bukan lagi pasti tetapi nyata.






Ya, memang sudah terjadi. 

Speak in English. Does that sounds arrogant to you ?

Updating status in English, does that really annoyed you ? Using English doesn't mean I forgot that I'm a Malay. Not that I boast I can speak English. I might use broken language, might mispell the words, or even used the wrong grammar. I'm just practicing the language to enhance me to stand out from others, to step forward, to do extraordinary things.

Does that really bother you ? I'm proud to be born as Muslim and as a Malay. Malay people need to think out of the box. Saw that person always speak, update everything in English and there's voice saying 'she trying to boast', 'lehhh, like she is the only who can speak English', 'pftt, she thinks she's in Britain' and bla bla bla. Speak in foreign language doesn't makes me feel arrogant. I do update in Malay language and I always do. But sometimes I did update in English. That 'sometimes' makes people think I'm an arrogant bitch who boasting around saying she's the only who speak English. Can't you see I'm trying to improve myself. Not that I ashamed of speaking Malay, it just that the world outside there demand people who can speak in English.

I had just graduated from local polytechnic and currently doing my best to look for job. Most of the job vacancies requirements that I looked thoroughly before stated that must be able to speak in English and Malay. There you can see, the words 'English' and 'Malay'. I took international business, look at the 'international' word. What does come across you about international ? People all around the world are using English. I don't need to give example or explain further, you already know when people of different cultures and language like Filipino and Hungarian. I don't have to tell you what is the language option they use to communicate. I believe you are smart enough to tell. English is Lingua Franca. Back before 21 century, when Arabian merchants came to Tanah Melayu and so other merchants from all around the world, Bahasa Melayu was recognized as Lingua Franca and it was stated in the history. They did business, communicate in Bahasa Melayu. But that was in the past, now the world had changed, 360 degrees. I'm proud saying that my language was used and spoke by different people from different countries back when Malaysia wasn't even formed yet. I also found it is really amazing when foreign people can speak my language, Malay.

English is the world most spoken language, do you want people to bad-mouthing you in English and you're just laughing because you don't know what they are talking about. Okay then that just make you feel or sounds and even looks stupid. Try to learn English, improve your English while not forgetting the mother-tongue language. That goes to every races in Malaysia. But my point is don't ever criticize someone when she just trying to speak in English. With she speaking in English wasn't make you at loss or harm you. When I spoke in English doesn't mean that I have forgotten mother-tongue, Malay.

I was born as a Malay an will die as a proud Malay. I'm not fluent in English and I'm still learning. I beg your forgiveness if I've done wrong on the reference, examples I gave doesn't sounds relevant (which might make you wanna laugh) but that's all I can do, I'm not perfect, I may made mistakes and that's all from me. From the one who still learning English.

THE WORLD ISNT CHANGING TOWARDS WHAT WE WANT TO :)

Hi everyone :)

It's been a long time I didn't post in this blog. I feel like I am not going to write anything but then I change my mind. I started to begin my writing, after that I change my mind again. It is not because I dont want to, but I dont know how to end my story. The moment I start writing the first paragraph, I really don't know where my stories gonna end. I meet dead end every singles day I want to post. Pfttt.

It's the same as I don't know how my life gonna turns like or how my fvcking life gonna ends. Recently, I felt so depressed. As usual, it's always be the problem with the girls. I just found out that "friend" that I used to share my problems, my sorrow, and even what goes around my family, she is not what i thought she was. She stabbed on my back by doing the things that I never expected it to be. I put all my trust on her yet she doing that ( being the leader of a conspiracy ). The things that I hate the most, the things that I think would not happened to me. But eventually it is happening. OH FVCK. I certainly won't reveal the things that she did, because you know this blogging thing isn't quite safe. She didn't know that I already know what she did to me. I was pretending that nothing happened and just be friend with her tho IT IS FVCKING HURT AND ANNOYING to treat her as USUAL. As if NOTHING happened.

That is why I said, the world isn't changing towards what we want. I could have never imagine that the friend that I believe will always be there beside me, console me will turn to a MONSTER that eat victim in silence. Well, this is actually happening in every single community exists in the world. Tho I want my life would be perfect, colourful, cheerish but the moment I smiled, I could have never thought that someone outside there isn't happy the way I am.

What I am trying to say is live the life to the fullest but don't ignore the surroundings, the environment. Just behave yourself. DO NOT think everyone will be pleased with your actions. Beware of the peoples around you. I think I should make a placard "BEWARE OF THE HUMANS" replacing the old placard of "Beware of the Dogs". Even dogs can be trusted, but HUMANS ??? Nahhhh, I dont think so. I'm not saying that we should be paranoid or always being insecure. No, certainly not that. JUST BEWARE. You might not know when the PREDATOR might come after you. BEING CAUTIOUS not gonna harm you :)

YG FAMILY SPECIAL ON STRONG HEART PART 1 :)

Apparently my blog is not a full kpop blog like my friends did. as far as i remembered, i never posted something about kpop on my blog. its not that i dont want to but im too lazy to write a post. kekeke~ but i will soon . im excited to post about BIGBANG ALIVE. but maybe later. kekeke~ but for now im going to let you enjoy this beautiful bond between YG Entertainment Family. Below video was from Strong Heart filming. Strong Heart is a talkshow where artists talk about their own story ( means happen in their daily life ) They will compete with each other to tell the best story, and the best story will be awarded a trophy for telling the audience such a good & touching story. This video was from recent aired Strong Heart in korea. around two weeks ago. Actually i want to show DINOSOUR TOP to my friend. she is none other AEYU ALI. so here it is DINOTOP. enjoy, & happy watching.

FACEBOOK
1. Part 1/5
2. Part 2/5
3. Part 3/5
4. Part 4/5
5. Part 5/5

DAILYMOTION

Playlist

Subbed by Royal Ace Subs @ YGLadies.com

DINOTOP will appear on part 2/5. so look forward for him. kekeke. and yeahh, TOP will make you laugh . From now onwards i will post more about kpop on my blog, especially about BIGBANG cz imma VIP and i am a hardcore fan of BIGBANG. goodbye for now and i will post part 2 soon :)

hai bloggers :)

hai :) 


lama sudah tak update blog buruk ni. last update july last year ! wow ! sangat lapuk LOL. but now, im back ! mungkin tak update everyday, but i'll try LOL. kkkk~ reasons why i din update cz, satu- malas. dua- malas. tiga- sibuk. kkkk~ yang paling utama malas lah. haha. but now, tak boleh nak malas-malsa dah. kkkk~




for now, nak cerita tentang my life yang entah macam apa ni. last december aku melapor diri untyk latihan industri dekat I.Z.A. CONSTRUCTION CO. SDN. BHD. tu syarikat pembinaan lah kan. company yang aku buat latihan industri ni, banyak buat major kerja-kerja pembinaan dekat malaysia ni. antaranya, projek INSPEN dekat selangor, KKM dan lain-lain. saya dapat elaun RM200. ciput je. kawan aku dapat RM500 kot, dia praktikal UDA HOLDINGS, memang mahal lah kan. sekarang dah dekat empat bulan aku praktikal. 18/5 nanti tamat lah sudah aku praktikal dekat sana. bos aku jarang masuk office, busy memanjang. banyak sangat meeting yang dia nak kena attend. so aku just bergaul dengan akak office ni jelah. akak-akak ni semua baik, boleh lah gelak-gelak, tepuk tampar. tak ada lah kaku dan tegang je suasana office. fun jugak lah. aku banyak lah silap, tapi dorang semua ni sporting. beruntung sangat dapat praktikal kat sini. kkkkk~ 




sedang aku happy-happy ni kan. ada jugak bencana yang menimpa aku dan family aku. i shouldnt said its a disaster but yeahhh, we were choosen to face this situation. unfortunately, aku tak boleh nak share dekat sini, cz its too private for me and i dont want to gain sympathy from all of you. seriously, itu bukan cara aku untuk menagih simpati. so sampai sini saja cerita sedih. kkkk~




okay, one more thing. lately ni kan, aku asyik lupa jelah. aku pun taktau kenapa. aku lupa kawan aku sendiri. tak lah semua tapi certain people. hurrmmm, i wonder why. nak kata aku terhentak dengan batu ke, accident ke, tak adalah pulak. memang tak ada pun aku rasa. nak kata makan semut pun, agak-agak lah kan. takkan lah banyak sangat semut yang aku makan ni =_=" aku pun stress ni. aku kalau boleh nak jaga hati kawan-kawan aku semua. tapi bila aku tak ingat nama or siapa diri dorang, dorang kecik hati dengan aku. erm, aku lupa besties aku sendiri. so aku tend to tak angkat calls or reply all of her messages cz im afraid that aku merepek and she found out that aku lupa dekat dia. aku taknak macam tu. and and lagi satu suha rosdee ? aku baru ingat pasal dia. fuhhh, nasib baik aku ingat, kalau tak lagi lah bertambah sorang yang sakit hati dengan aku. aku pun tak tau apa lah penyakit sial yang aku kena. stress sungguh. for some peoples yang mesej dengan aku, aku recall memori aku dengan dorang. and by doing that, yeahhh aku akan ingat balik. im not saying that aku lupa semua macam kena amnesia. NO !!!! aku ingat sesetengah perkara. tapi sesetengah benda memang aku tak boleh nak ingat. entah lah, tak ada pulak aku try jumpa doktor, cz aku rasa macam aku ni pelik je. kkkk~ nak kata aku sakit kepala time nak cuba ingatkan, memang tak ada lah. macam over lah pulak kan. kkkk~ aku rasa as time pass, things will get better. so aku kena adapt lah dengan semua tu, as long as aku chill, semua benda pun akan baik kan ? 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY :)

sis, i might not online on this special day, so i prepared for that. im gonna wish you "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" in advance cuz i might be late to wish you. so i dont want that to be happen. i love you, i wish for your success. i hope that all your wishes gonna come true and you will be happy for that. i wish that you gonna achieve what you want in this life. dont be afraid to try new things and strive for your own success and your own benefits :) i love you and will always love. eventho i havent meet you in  person but i love :) i really hope that one day, we will meet each other and talk a lot bout kpop and our personal stuff. i really enjoy being friEnd with you. you are such a good friend, good listener and a good sister to me. i really appreciate that. i pray for your happiness. may this weird relationship last forever and will not wilted :) i love you :)

A BIRTHDAY CAKE FOR MY LOVELY SIS :)

SWEET 20 SIS :)

ENJOY  YOUR GLAMOROUS AND VICTORIOUS YEAR :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, ABNERYS DIAZ :)

I LOVE YOU :)

ABNERYS DIAZ :)

who is she ? you guys must be wondered right who is the lovely girl that im gonna share. well, her name is abnerys diaz. she will turn 20 on July 29 this year. she is my pen-pal in puerto rico. i know her first when we become friends in myspace back in early 2010. we have a lots of comfortable conversations. i feel the chemistry exists between us. whats make us become friends is both of have the same interest which both of us fonds over kpop. wahhh, we shared a lot of beautiful things about kpop. i often introduce to her kpop groups and fortunately she love all my suggestions. and from that our friendship grows. we talk to each other when both of us online. well, i have some of foreign friends but she is the closest one. i talk to her alot rather than others because i find out the cozy feelings when i talk to her. she is a easy-going person and such kind-hearted person. she just like my own sister and we treat each other like the real siblings. back in 2010 i often called her kak ngah because she is the second child in her family. i really love the moments when we talk for the whole day. the time diffrence between us is 12hours. if i online here at 12pm, at there puerrto rico it is 12am. she also feel comfortable to talk about anything to me. she also told me about her relationship with her boyfriend. and also her first kiss! awwww!!!

isnt she beautiful ? she is such a great person.she concerned about me a lot and thats make me love her more eventhough we never meet in person. back in 2010 i cant contact with her for the whole year becuse i need to further studies and there is no internet access to able me online forever and talk to her. and thats how we lost contact. after sometimes finally i manage to check on my myspace account but at that time myspace was to way updated and i couldnt get myself used to it current system yet and she also did not online for the time im waiting for her to reply my messages on her myspace inbox. i even leave message on her YM but yet no repy. that was totally frustrating situation to me because i have alot to share with her. i also tried to search her name, abnerys diaz in facebook but nowhere to be found. so i just left that to the destiny. HAHA. thats sound cliche. HAHA. later on i managed to get her facebook account through my friend which he also friend with her. YEAYYY!!! finally i get to contact her, i add her right away. HAHA.

she told me before that she was in culinary & pastry studies. basically she has completed her studies and also her internship. she did mention about her moving to usa. i dont know when but she gonna live there by her own. wahh, such a independent girl. i respect her LOL. now, i havent hear news about that because she din mention to me any further details. we always comfort each other feelings. and if we had any argument about kpop things, we are free to tell each other. talk about kpop drama, new kpop songs, new variety shows. thats makes us close than before. untill now, we still being a cool friends towards each other. it is a coolest thing to have a friend like her. i really hope we can maintain this kind of relationship. dont ever forget me sis^^
 i miss you and much love for you sis <3